I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Randomize
