"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
that may or may not have been my penis.
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