And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
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