therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
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