I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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