I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
How does it feel to date your dad?
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
