i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
she looked like the before picture.
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
Randomize
