Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
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