we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Randomize