no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
Randomize
