Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
Randomize
