Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
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