Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
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