he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
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