I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
Randomize
