Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Staff meetings will be awkward since my boss and I both did the new intern
Maybe she doesn’t know you did him
Oh she definitely knows - it was a threesome
Please tell me you’re not taking life advice from porn scripts again
Randomize
