I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
Randomize