I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
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