A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
Randomize
