mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize
