She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
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