If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Randomize
