One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
no. you can't hotbox the world.
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
My mom asked what the mark on my neck was - I told her I burned it with a straightener.
She believed that the monsterous hickey on your neck was a burn?
well, not really. but then i reminded her that my sister has yet to take that pregnancy test and she conviniently forgot about my hickey
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
Randomize
