He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Randomize
