i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
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