been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
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