I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
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