Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
Randomize
