I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
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