that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize
