I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
