Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
