She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
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