apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
