Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
Randomize
