very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
