Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
I faked an abortion last night.
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
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