we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
When did angry sex become our thing?
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize
