Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
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