Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
Randomize
