When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
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