hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
Randomize
