these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
Randomize
