There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
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