It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize
