even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
The Olympian is in my bed
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Randomize
