Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
Randomize
