OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
Randomize
