im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
