Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Randomize
