i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
Randomize
