Ambien. No doubt about it.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
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