FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize