Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
