get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
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