it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
Randomize
