No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
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