Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
Randomize
