That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
So I stole cocaine from one of my Tinder hookups
And that is the most millennial sentence I've ever said
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
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