So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Randomize
