yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
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