lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
I need a hoe opinion
go on
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
Randomize