Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
Can you bring me the toilet please
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize
