I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
I want her autograph on my taint
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos