As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
Randomize
