Texts From Last Night

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  (707): View more from California

  I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.

  (951): View more from California

  That's the thing about women.

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  (707): I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff. (951): That's the thing about women. http://tfl.nu/3r0z
  Replies (6) Good night (781) Bad night (2452)
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  (360): View more from Washington

  did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.

  (425): View more from Washington

  some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.

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  (360): did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends. (425): some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate. http://tfl.nu/ohwc
  Replies (19) Good night (918) Bad night (3644)
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  (847): View more from Illinois

  There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.

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  (847): There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike. http://tfl.nu/ywf1
  Replies (17) Good night (2462) Bad night (551)
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  (502): View more from Kentucky

  you would pick up someone in the library

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  (502): you would pick up someone in the library http://tfl.nu/20m6
  Replies (20) Good night (3788) Bad night (535)
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  (240): View more from Maryland

  This kid is drunk.

  (410): View more from Maryland

  I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.

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  (240): This kid is drunk. (410): I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted. http://tfl.nu/8aqa
  Replies (6) Good night (7957) Bad night (926)
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  (563): View more from Iowa

  he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes

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  (563): he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes http://tfl.nu/4qyv
  Replies (22) Good night (1368) Bad night (4989)
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  (248): View more from Michigan

  i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech

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  (248): i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech http://tfl.nu/b8ee
  Replies (18) Good night (3886) Bad night (1282)
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  (801): View more from Utah

  he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.

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  (801): he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages. http://tfl.nu/yro9
  Replies (8) Good night (3424) Bad night (794)
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  (970): View more from Colorado

  There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.

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  (970): There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know. http://tfl.nu/bv2v
  Replies (10) Good night (4434) Bad night (811)
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  (709): View more from Newfndlnd, Labradr

  By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.

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  (709): By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco. http://tfl.nu/8qs4
  Replies (11) Good night (2253) Bad night (1482)
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  (971): View more from Oregon

  Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard

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  (971): Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard http://tfl.nu/g5bb
  Replies (1) Good night (1166) Bad night (545)
• Favorite

  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  I love you more with every blowjob.

  (1-202): View more from Washington, DC

  You should write for Hallmark.

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  (202): I love you more with every blowjob. (1-202): You should write for Hallmark. http://tfl.nu/2s1x
  Replies (8) Good night (3117) Bad night (615)
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  (413): View more from Massachusetts

  Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5

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  (413): Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5 http://tfl.nu/y1kc
  Replies (9) Good night (1072) Bad night (506)
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  (208): View more from Idaho

  That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.

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  (208): That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality. http://tfl.nu/t1cp
  Replies (9) Good night (1035) Bad night (540)
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  (902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

  I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime

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  (902): I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime http://tfl.nu/b6xy
  Replies (2) Good night (437) Bad night (235)

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