This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
19 Characteristics That Make People Instantly Attractive
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
25 People Confess What They’re Shamefully Attracted To
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.