THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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