awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
